It has been awhile since you last heard from me

And so being the half-Semenanjung-half-Sarawakian girl who studies in UiTM Samarahan, Sarawak brought up the same question from both sides; “How did you end up in UiTM Samarahan?” “Macam mana kau boleh tercampak kat sana?” “Kenak kitak sik dapat rah UiTM Shah Alam jak? Puncak Alam pun ada UiTM juak nak?”

Because you see, there are a lot of other UiTMs in Semenanjung I could have been enrolled to, but fortunately I was destined to be here instead. Fascinating, I know. Friends and even family were quite astounded when I announced the happy news that I’d be furthering my studies overseas. (lols, merentasi Laut China Selatan, overseas lah tu kan)

So here is how everything started.

Ahem. Exactly three days after I received my super bad SPM result, (I only scored 5As and B+s for all my science subjects), my mildly-frustrated parents brought me to a some kind of educational exhibition I’m sure everyone in Shah Alam/Lembah Klang knew about – the Selangkah ke UiTM thing, which was held in the Dewan Agong Tuanku Canselor, UiTM Shah Alam herself, to actually find me a suitable or in other words an available place left in any UiTM campuses. Mind you that my parents were very disheartened that they once thought I might not be accepted to any Uni at all. Perfectionists, they are *nods vigorously. And so back then I only had one thing in my mind – to read law, to get accepted under the UiTM Foundation of Law programme in any UiTM campuses, I didn’t mind. As long as there was a place allocated for me, I’d be the happiest, most grateful human being ever. I once thought enough is enough, that science stuff was never my forte and hence reading law was my only one sole option left as I despised learning science and I knew I could never teach or else the children of our country might face the trauma of their lives by having a fierce teacher like me (therefore UPSI had been early crossed out from my targeted Uni list).

As I entered the massive dewan (a lot more massive-er than Dewan Jubli UiTM Samarahan, I have to admit), my only aim was to visit the Faculty of Law booth. But before I even take a look over my targeted venue, I was informed by a boy (damn I forgot to ask his name. And his number ._.) that there would be a short briefing on what Foundation of Law is all about upstairs in the segmented seat places. (Like how awesome the Dewan Agong Tuanku Canselor is, it even has a lift to transport us upstairs! Kat sini the dewan is very beautiful but a bit sederhana). Guess what, when we arrived upstairs (with the nameless boy mentioned), we discovered that the talk had ended only minutes before we arrived. The supposed ‘things-about-Foundation-of-Law- that-you-kids-need-to-know-about’ talk was diverted to “Taklimat Ringkas Diploma Pentadbiran Awam” instead. I know. Talk about irony. Macam orang kata, kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana.

But.

How arrogant and ignorant I was, really. I mean how egoistic I was that I didn’t pay the fullest attention to the lecturer. Even though my super bad SPM result was somewhat a hard slap in my face, it somehow still didn’t manage to lower down my ego. My ego was bruised of course, (badly in fact) but to say I’m no longer an egoistic person - that would be a lie. With an inadequate amount of As in my hand, I still had the mentality of ‘hek eleh, apa barang main diploma ni. Aku tahap asasi lah’. Eksyen nak mampus. Cetek sungguh kepala otak aku time tu. I left the fifteen minutes talk with no input at all about DPA except for the fact that the lecturer emphasized on something like “kalau result bagus boleh buat fast track bila 3^rd sem and sape-sape yg result biasa-biasa tapi teringin nak buat Law, boleh sambung degree law lepas DPA”

Ouch.

I can honestly say that the taklimat ringkas didn’t gain my interest at all. Even though the lecturer did say awesome things like “lepas DPA boleh sambung degree oversea” “skop pekerjaan DPA luas” etc, I still thought that the course was a bit of an underdog course for me. I mean come on, Hajar, studying Diploma? Purleez. (Toldja I’m mean). And you know how ambitious-but-at-times-careless I am. I just left the talk without saying thanks to the lecturer in order to catch up things on Law stuff downstairs. Aku kata kat ayah aku, “jom lah yah, turun, nanti ramai sgt”. He just said, “ayah nak tunggu jap, nak dengar”. Talk about irony again. Memang dah jodoh aku dengan course ni. (In the end it was Ayah who convinced me in taking this course).

But the story hasn’t even reached its most compelling part yet. So here goes. When I finally arrived at my so-called destination which was the Faculty of Law booth itself, I was ecstatic. My first impression of the lecturers was, ‘wow, zis all awesome wumen’. I approached the most impeccably dressed lecturer there and showed my SPM result quite timidly and asked, “is it possible for a 5As student to get accepted in this course?” (I asked sweetly you know, I mean who knows this woman here could my lecturer?).

And I can still remember what she said, what type of emotion drawn on her face when she saw my result, what kind of smile she gave to me (it was a sympathetic smile), how her eyes didn’t really want to meet mine and how the tone of her voice broke my heart.

“I’m sorry dear, the possibility is there, but honestly all my students are consists of at least 7As students. If you did put Foundation of Law as your first choice in UPU, you might have to compete with other bright students”.

Ouch number 2. BIG OUCH.

If you were there you’d notice some giant fat tears pooling in my eyes. But I smiled instead. I tried to be polite. And I really didn’t want to be seen as a quitter. My parents kept silent. Again, if you were there you’d know how heart-broken they were. Their face fell, downright. That particular day really still can be played like a movie vividly in my mind. How another human being actually looked down on me and felt sympathy of me (I mean excuse me, I didn’t come to gain sympathy, I came for educational purposes lol), how my parents could still bare seeing their child got saddened by a stranger, how I suddenly felt like nobody was there to catch me. Not even my parents. Suddenly I felt like everything went blurry and slowly turned dark.

Aku fikir, habislah aku.

But that’s the thing about us. That’s the thing about ‘manusia’. Cepat lupa. I forgot that Allah had always been there for me. That help from him was endless, it had always flowed freely. Another lecturer saw me standing alone with my SPM result in my hand. She gave me a warm smile and asked, “ya dik, boleh saya tolong?”

Then my mother started to explain. (and at the same time crying). I know. She probably thought that I would end up getting married first instead of studying. (Hoho boleh jugak macam tu).

Just as much as I can remember what the first lecturer said, I can also still recall what this particular lecturer (damn I forgot to ask for her name too -.-) did.

She said, “takpe dik. Kalau betul adik nak belajar Undang-undang, kalau adik tak confident dgn result adik, adik ambik DPA dulu. Ambik jalan selamat. Bukan tak bagus DPA tu. Bagus. Student saya ramai dari DPA yang score banding Asasi. Sebab apa, budak lepas DPA dia dah matang, dah faham. Budak lepas Asasi diorang masih muda. Law tough dik. Kalau adik betul-betul nak, adik kena usaha”

And freaking tears streamed down my face. Sighs. (Papa akhirnya kau tewas jua!)

She continued, “Don’t give up. I can see the determination in your eyes. Adik ambik DPA, dapat ANC, adik call saya. Saya akan accept saya terus jadi student saya, saya janji”. Dia hulur name card dia. Rasa mak aku simpan lagi kot name card tu.

And then she started to tell things on how cool DPA is, that DPA isn’t an underdog course, in fact no course is an underdog course, I mean come on, not everyone has the chance to study in a Uni right? So whenever you’re accepted into a Uni, it means you’re awesome enough already, despite being in any course. She told me how I hadn’t even seen the real world yet that I had almost given up.

I can sincerely say that that was the kindest thing a stranger had ever told me. It might sound simple, but to me it means the whole world. Without her advice, I wouldn’t be here right now. For days I kept thinking and evaluating on what she had delivered to me. My parents then advised me to perform solat istikharah. 

Alhamdulilah, the next 2-3 days I felt this strange feeling of assurance and conformity that taking DPA was indeed the right choice. That taking DPA was the correct path of my life. Alhamdulilah. I guess that was how Allah helped me – by giving me this sense of confidence in choosing this road.  And so after I had gone through a bit of soul-searching process, I think it’s not too much if I said that choosing the course Diploma Pentadbiran Awam as the first option when I filled the UPU form was the best choice I had ever made in my entire life.

And Allah is the Greatest, under His Mercy I am fortunate to be allocated at UiTM Samarahan, Sarawak.

There are NO words to paint my feelings on how I love being here. Really. I could have posted tons and tons of blog posts every day, but that won’t be practical as I am now a University student (ahem), I have no time to update blog! XD

And also, I’m running out of words. So let me present you a series of photos on what I had been through so far here. Enjoy! 

Bersama class mates turun kuliah :)

Malam Debat was uhmahzing. Our seniors couldn't have been cooler. Oh and do you know that UiTM Sarawak produces THE best and top speakers ever?

Ze room mates. 

Poster AGM DPA. Cool, I know. Oh btw MASPENA stands for Mahasiswa Mahasiswa Pentadbiran Awam :)

Jalan turun kuliah. Tak se-sesak UiTM Shah Alam. Org jalan kaki je kat sini.

Oh gambar tidak berkualiti - blame the camera, aku pergi Sarawak bekal camera handphone je :( oh ni time kat Debate Boot Camp :)

 

Debate Boot Camp, with my course mate Brandonn :)

Jangan pelik, Brandoon mmg suka buat muka mcm tu.

Masker.

How it looks like when it rains here at Kolej Seri Gading XD

Poster Kem Debat/Debate Camp.

Pemandangan dari bangunan HEP.

Apakah? Laksa Sarawak kat Kafe Bimmers. Datang Kuching wajib singgah situ. Nyamaaaaaaan

Me being not-so-pretty as ever. Ahem, this is Laiqha, my cool course mate :)

Mostly kitorang kat UiTM Sarawak ni support Germany. (Lol takdelah marah supporter lain)

Yay bersungkeyyyy (bukak puasa)

Dalam kelas CTU bukak puasa ni. 

Sarawakian sunset. 

p.s Still, I miss Shah Alam/Puncak Alam so much. Yang paling aku rindu selain mak ayah Aini Jijah Alea Thanu Mera Ama Shamin adalah Tesco itu sendiri. Sini takde Tesco, sini ada Giant je :(

Oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEA AKU SAYANG KAU