The time has come

There were times when the prospect of giving daughters permission to stroll around some grand malls with their friends, without any adult's supervision was once the most absurd idea ever to some mothers. A mother will yell, 'no, you're too young!' another will shriek, 'why, you're only fourteen!' another likes to come to conclusion, 'there's no way I'm going to allow you, what if someone rapes you?' or 'you have no idea how many bad guys are out there!' or simply 'NO!'. For my side, my mother had said all of the phrases stated. In fact I think she spilled everything in one single fiery breath, 'no, you're too young! You're only fourteen! I'm not going to allow you. What if someone rapes you? You have no idea how many bad guys are out there! NO!' (in BM of course duh, ayat Melayu lagi gempak, tapi I wrote in English to give impression).

And then you became so upset with your mother, you would start to question her, 'org lain boleh je, mak org lain kasi je, kenapa kita tak boleh?' Seconds later your mother's eyes started to expand, they somehow seemed like they were going to pop out of their sockets and she said furiously, 'HOW DARE YOU! How dare you of even thinking to menjawab me!' Mothers don't usually have legit answers, you know. They know they have this veto power to say, 'don't you dare talking back to me like that, young lady' and suddenly all of your arguments seemed invalid.  Because the answer to all of your questions would be, 'because I'm your mother, that's why.' Knowing that you were defeated, you would then lock yourself in your room - crying yourself to sleep, thinking how unfair the world was, imagining how much fun would your friends be having without you. But the next morning your mother allowed you to go anyway, because she couldn't stand seeing you upset. The next morning you also found out that your friend's mother would be coming along too, not to just drop you off at the mall entrance, but actually had the courtesy to supervise a bunch of over-excited kids who seemed to think that an outing was the coolest thing EVA! Like your mother, your friend's too couldn't stand seeing her daughter upset, but at the same time all mothers would want their children to be safe, our mothers cared, all mothers did.

But there also comes the time when a mother will only nod whenever her 17-going-18-years-old daughter asks for her permission to have another stroll around the grand mall with her friends, without any adult's supervision (duhh). Some mothers will demand for further information like with who are you going? Where? When? How? What exactly is the time will you come home? Some will remain silent and give you the 'I-demand-an-explanation-because-I'm-not-in-a-good-mood-now-that-you-start-asking-things' look. You are bound to explain everything, almost like presenting a paper work and you do have to calculate your words properly in case your mother doubts you. So yes, my mother falls into the latter category. It is up to me to spill every single beans. Recently I only had to say, 'mak nak pergi Subang Parade, Ama atau Alea drive esok pukul 9.30 pastu balik sblm ptg, boleh mak? Yg pergi Alea, Ama, Thanuja. Boleh mak?' surprisingly in one single breath too, and my mother just nodded and said, 'ya, jgn balik lewat sgt'. It was that easy. No further interrogation, no yelling at each other, no slamming doors, no arguments. I figured maybe after all these years my mother has somehow developed a trust in me and my friends. Trust - something that takes time to gain, even if it's from your own mother.

And there were times when you felt like you wanted to get out of the house so badly, that you were growing tired of your parents and siblings. Times when you thought life would be so much better without your two little sisters, that maybe being the only child was one of the best thing ever that could happen to you. But then there also comes the time when suddenly your home is no longer a full house, that both of your sisters are sent to boarding schools and hell, you do get your wish now, do you? To become the only child of the family (sort of). There comes the time when the University allocation result opens to the public, that the fact that you're going to leave home in less than a month hits you hard. Like all those time you spent wishing you could get out of the house, you somehow forgot to ask yourself 'what will I do without my parents around?'

There were times when you had a conversation with your best friend about how lame the school life was, how dull the uniform looked like, how the class and routine suffocated you and your friends. Times when you wished that clocks could tick faster, that you were so eager to feel how growing up feels like. Times when you felt tired of learning, bored of studying and not interested in knowing more. But there also comes the time when you start missing your best friend, your good friends and the crazy times you spent together. There finally comes the time when you reminisce your old school days and regret how you didn't actually make the best out of them. The time when you somehow wish you could go back. The time when you realize that you're about to leave the simple life behind. There finally comes the time to be parted from your good friends, people whom you know by heart and love so dearly. There finally comes the time when you are actually a young grown up. You are actually taking the first, big step. The time has finally come. And yet a part of you is still not fully ready.

There were times when you thought driving could be really cool and having your own personal account in a bank would be like a life-time achievement. Times when you envied those teens who wandered around so freely without their parents forbidding them to, times when you wanted to be independent so much. But there also comes the time when you actually HAVE to pass a driving test in order to get the license, the time when you finally know that having a personal account is not an achievement but a requirement in life instead. There finally comes the time when you are bound to learn to actually be independent, without your parents catching your back every time you fall. There actually comes the time when you lie in your bed, realizing that you have no clue at all about the life you're about to enter.

I'm quite sure in the future, there will come the time when everything feels like second nature to me.

All I can say to those who are younger than me is that, don't try to grow up so fast. Make the best out of your current life. Don't be bothered to grow up so quickly. Because trust me, your time will eventually come.