I have a friend who is very smart, decent, highly literate, poetic and charming but not good-looking. A bit too emotionally attached for a guy. . . . but well I'm a tolerable person. This friend of mine, is very insecure of himself. I've never met a boy who is as insecure as him. As a matter of fact I do think that insecure is never one of the masculine traits. Bukan patutnya perempuan je ke yang insecure. He's like a girl sometimes. I mean he has the emotions of a girl.
But he has a very big heart. I admire him for that. He tries so hard to please everyone around him that sometimes he questions why do people never appreciate his acts of kindness and gets upset about it. Yeap I'm still talking about a boy. Come to think of it, I think he has a more feminine heart than mine.
So, possessing a degree of intelligence that not most of boys possess and having too much of feminine emotions, he often produces tumblrposts and tweets that easily intrigue and attract girls - the naive ones who look for compassion in boys. Sad thing is, most girls expect this kind of stuff to come from a handsome guy. And this guy here isn't good-looking. To make the mystery guy in question more 'interesting', he never shows his face in the cyber world - check his accounts, you'll never find a real photo showing his face clearly. His alasan is "I want people to like me for who I am and not because of my physical appearance"
Some girls, who spend time reading and imagining fiction characters as their male companions having an immense liking for educated boys. We like those who use decent grammar and language, who can speak up their minds, those who have this quirky way of thinking, write academical stuff, you know, those who suddenly make us think macam OH GOD AKU JUMPA SOULMATE AKU, ADA JUGAK LELAKI MCM NI
Thus it's not a rare sight for me to find that my friend has a lot of 'online' admirers. My friend shared stories with me about one of the admirers he has. She's a bright girl. I've never met her face to face, but from the way she wrote the long, poetic, critically academic texts she sent to him I know she was trying to impress him. The smart but ugly guy who thinks he will never be loved tak layan sepenuhnya pun budak perempuan ni. A brilliant girl with enriched vocab. Brave and bold enough to confess her feelings.
Aku tanya, "kenak kitak sik bergerek jak dgn nya? She seems to get you well". He just shuddered. I wasn't satisfied with his answer and. . . . . . .
di sini lah kerja stalk aku bermula. When I check her twitter it was easily figured why my friend declined her. She's not good-looking too. I have no idea how to get my almost long-written post to finally reach my point, but my point is, how sincere are we when we say "looks don't matter"? I was wrong when I expected more coming from this guy. I thought being the 'awkward' guy he is, he'll accept physical flaws and embrace people for their minds.
But well, manusia kan, we like pretty things. And me, being a human, I get it when boys sometimes decline me too. I perfectly understand that I'm not that physically appealing. But me, being a human, I never impose and imply anything about how I don't take looks into account, because that would be lying. I admit I did decline some boys. Kesian diorg kena friendzone, lol. Sebab apa? Some just don't appear physically appeal to us. No matter how we say looks don't matter, it matter. No matter how ugly-looking you are, deep inside you desire for someone beautiful.
Looks matter. They will be dismissed once you have truly found someone who you think beautiful both outside and inside. Before the time comes, you probably should stop with the 'all girls are beautiful, looks dont matter' thing on your social networks, because honestly mate, you're contradicting yourself.
At least I'm a realist.