Feeling Nostalgic

I first listened to the song 'All About You' by McFly when I was thirteen. I discovered it when I spent my after school hours at my best friend's house. She played the song quite loudly on her then iPhone 3GS. I first fell in love with A Rocket To The Moon when I secretly/ accidentally glanced at one of the many tabs Azalea opened in Youtube, also during one of the lepak sessions at her house lepas sekolah. That day when I came back home, I rushed to my own PC and searched them on Youtube. The rest they say was history. I first had my Tumblr account when I was sixteen which was also introduced to me by my best friend. 

I have many other 'firsts' I experienced with Azalea and my other best friends. I have to thank Azalea, for her discoveries are what made who I am now. I can never take credit solely for myself for I think the growing up process is highly influenced by the people around us. I am me now because I picked and learned 'things' along the journey from them. People around me mould me to who I am now, indirectly.

And exactly a week ago, I turned 19. But I still listen to McFly though. I still prioritize A Rocket To The Moon songs than others when it comes to choosing songs to be listened. I still, until now cannot restrain myself from re-blogging posts of Tom Felton's sexy pictures, admiring him like a high school girl and yet I'm 19. I still act like I'm 16 - ignorant and carefree, highly inefficient and the biggest procrastinator in the house. Given that now I'm enjoying my semester breaks, the old habits seem hard to die. 

But do you know what I discovered recently? When I, as usual browsed to Youtube to satisfy my hearing sense and intuition guided me to search for 'McFly' -  I discovered that the boys in baggy jeans and sneakers years ago have now smartly suited up and wear ties and Italian shoes. The music still slightly sounds the same with the same members and the same roles, but goodness their come-back is really amazing. They really want to show how they're fine men now, they're no longer grubby cute boy bands. I had thoughts like, 'wow they really have changed now do they?' 'dulu selenga je skrg dah smart' I mean look at how different they were then when All About You music video was first published and now in their new song Love is Simple music video. Macam orang tua yang nyanyi. Orang tua yang hensem lah tapi.  

When I searched for A Rocket To The Moon days later, I was also mildly shocked to find they've changed genre to country, lol. But I love them nevertheless, though I still prefer the good old rocking pop punk songs like Dakota, Baby Blue Eyes , Like We Used To, Mr Right and so on. That night I listened to these songs and couldn't help thinking -- 'dulu time sekolah menengah tiap malam dengar lagu ni'. They were my favourite lullabies. But they change maybe to um, meet the current demand from listeners? (though I never demand for them to change)

When I'm on Tumblr, my interests are mostly to reblog Harry Potter stuff and yes, ahem Tom Felton-related posts. Come to think of it, these people whom I follow, who actually propagate these ideas are of the same age as me, and started their accounts (based on my assumption) also during their teen ages of 15, 16 or 17. And they could be as matured as in their 20s now, but still devote their lives to the ever-interesting blog, Tumblr. Don't get me wrong, I don't have the slightest attention to quit blogging now, tapi sampai bila kot - I'm 19. Is it healthy for a 19-year-old to still be hugely affected by these kinds of things? Soon I'm going to be 21, 22, 23, I'm going to pursue a Degree, I'm going to settle down and have a family but will I still have a Tumblr account? Will I still have the spare time to search for McFly and ARTTM new songs yang dah God knows bertukar genre lagi in future? 

"Sampai bila kot nak devote life to McFly, A Rocket To The Moon, Tumblr, Harry Potter, Tom Felton etc etc etc etc" a thought strikes me one fine night.

Have you, my dear friend, thought of it? Have you ever noticed how fast the time flies? That as time goes by, we're growing older but yet at heart we still cling to these little things - things that define our teen ages.

Maybe it's the middle-youth crisis, the phase where you move from an excited teenager to a more hm serious young adult, I don't know - the psychologists haven't come out with a specific name for this symptom yet but hell I cannot help feeling old.

I've lived for nineteen years old.